1. to go home to my father
2. my sister and I both live with my father again
3. get into a school that I can be excited about for undergrad.
4. go to law school and get my law degree
5. sue the state of New Jersey, the Somerset County Court Family Part, Judge Marino, Bonnie Frost, DYFS and others… (* I don’t want tons of money from Judge Marino; I want her to resign her judgeship indefinitely, go to prison for at least as long as she unjustly put my father there, and for her to do community service at the shelter she placed me in, where I spent just about an entire year of my childhood thanks to her.)
6. get my permit
7. get my license
8. tell Ava I love her
9. hug Ava
10. get a lap top
11. get my journals back from Bonnie Frost
12. reconnect with my old friends
13. graduate from Pingry with my class
14. crochet Mr. Bill a scarf and hat for Christmas
15. live a full year of my life without feeling threatened or scared at all for that entire year
16. re-read Boethius’s Consolation of Philosophy and buy a new copy because pages are falling out of my old one
17. get my stuff back from my mother as well as an inventory
18. have a completely decorated bedroom just the way I’d like it
19. improve children’s rights
20. finish reading Hamlet and take the time to really enjoy it
21. audition for a Broadway show in which I could tap dance (preferably 42nd Street)
22. be an interior designer/decorator
23. write/take photos for National Geographic
24. write for Teen Vogue
25. write for Time magazine
26. be a mother
27. have a healthy marriage; be a special wife and be best friends with my husband
28. be as good a parent as my father is to me
29. help Jovani get a green card so that he can visit his family
30. write a book telling my story
31. pick Ava up and carry her around again before she is too big for me to be able to do that anymore
32. see my mom, Tina, Grandpa, Winston, and Alessio prosecuted for sexually abusing me
33. go to Disney World just with the Honeyhood – my dad, my sister, and me
34. crochet bunny slippers
35. go back to the Scenic Overlook on Rt. 78 with my father again; I’d also like to bring my sister one day and share it with her too
36. have a bedroom with a big window so that the light comes flooding in onto my bed in the morning like it used to in my house in Warren
37. take the $50 dollars that the man at Aeropostale gave me and buy one of the men on the street in NYC a really delicious meal (I think I’ll have to ask them what they’d like, then maybe we can go eat it together in a restaurant. I wouldn’t want to leave him to eat it on the street – and company is always something that makes a great meal taste even better.)
38. donate hair grease and rubber bands to the shelter, because people hardly ever donate that stuff
39. donate combs they could use for braiding to the shelter, because everyone always used to steal my combs I needed to detangle my hair in the shower… (eventually, I gave up and just resorted to using my fingers)
40. crack down on cops who are mean like the ones in Bridgewater that were mean to my roommate, Zandria; the house we live in is not a last-chance house nor a place of punishment – cops need to be more educated on what they are dealing with if they are going to go and talk to kids who live in these places about AWOL-ing – nobody deserves to be treated that way; also, I really want to make sure that cops stop getting away with beating kids up so easily, like the Bridgewater police did to one of my roommates at the Shelter, Raquel, because they are racist and she is hispanic
41. kids should be able to make the really big decisions about their living situations for themselves, not rely on DYFS workers or judges to do it for them, because it’s unfair when other people make the wrong decisions and the kids have deal with knowing what should happen and not being able to make that happen – like when Maria Jose didn’t want to go back to her father, but her DYFS worker and her father were friends or something so the DYFS worker kept sending her back, even though her father beat her so much (I cried when I saw her welts and bruises that her father left on her thighs, arms, and ribs) – we ended up having to help her run away again, because she was so scared to go back to her father; he only wanted her back because he had money being taken out of his paycheck now that Maria Jose was in a state funded program; *If kids were acknowledged as people who can think and feel for themselves, rather than being left to the system which assigns numerous doctors and therapists and case workers and case managers to try and decide what they think and feel for them, then a lot of really bad situations would be avoided. If I was granted that right which I believe absolutely every child deserves, I would have never had to spend ten horrible months and eleven horrible days in that awful environment at the shelter. I would never have been so scared to tell that boys there were sexually harassing me because I would never have been restricted from calling anyone, God forbid something horrible happened to me as a result of telling (i.e. The staff at the house talks to Marcus, and he gets mad and embarrassed and takes it out on me – then I’m in even a worse position with him, and I can’t tell staff again because they are the ones who messed up and made it worse – they obviously don’t know how to handle this delicate situation in an efficient manner that protects me, and I can’t call my dad and tell him, “Daddy, this boy won’t stop touching me and no one will do anything about it,” because the Court and DYFS decided I am not allowed to talk to my father at all! Nothing in the world is more frustrating and infuriating than having everything sacred to you walked all over by people who are supposed to help, and claim they are helping – which adds insult to injury.) I want to make sure that the right to make your own decisions is respected with children, because from what I have seen, the courts and DYFS only make things worse when they overstep their boundaries as a part of the state and interfere with familial relationships and try to control such personal aspects of a child’s life as those. How can they all be so dumb? Doesn’t it ever cross their mind the damage their doing not only to the child on an individual basis but to society as a whole? Child, preteen, adolescent or adult, we are all people from the moment we are born to the moment we die. People all deserve to be treated as such, people. Children don’t just miraculously grow a brain on their 18th birthday here in the United States. Nor do they miraculously acquire a set of principles and values and everything that makes up their entire perspective on that day. Their eyes, hearts and minds are open throughout this sacred stage of life called childhood. Why do we treat them with this iron fist, leaving only the tiniest bit of room for us to merely feign sensitivity to their needs and desires(i.e. letting the child state what they want somewhere one way or another in the process, but giving that factor little to no weight as far as what determines the ultimate outcome of whatever the situation is that is being addressed? Then, after conditioning a large part of the generation that will be left with the responsibility of taking care of the older generation and maintaining our country’s stability to accept that they should not have control over their own lives or be involved in taking responsibility for caring for themselves, we complain that they don’t know how to take care of anything, and that they don’t even want to. Well, of course they don’t want to! They don’t understand the idea that they should and can! It is the polar opposite of what they have been taught. They had to accept bad and unjust treatment, and they will continue to do so. Why should they see anything wrong with other members of their community receiving the same kind of treatment? We never let kids make important decisions for themselves, yet we expect them in adulthood to suddenly know how to make important decisions that will affect the community in a positive way. We never respect their minds enough to let them use them on anything of any kind of consequence, and then we expect them to use their minds once they hit age eighteen. So what do we do? Do we change the way children are treated by the system? No. We make it easier to get a high school diploma without doing much of anything. Then we complain about public school education being low quality. Our kids are not looking so bright when comparing standardized We cultivate helpless weaklings and expect brave leaders to emerge.
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8 comments:
Dear Talia,
When your Dad first called to tell me about the obscene
practices that are occurring to all three of you, I was astounded.
I thought horrific and perverted things like this, don’t happen in Somerset County. I stopped for a moment and thought about all the parents that I had met through my organization and realized, YES, this does happen.
SOMERSET COUNTY DOES NOT HAVE
CLEAN HANDS,
the Officials know.
I reflected upon my conversations with Dad over and over, then I realized, there is a pattern, it’s the same people, same lawyers, SAME JUDGES! These people are robbing our children right before our eyes.
Talia, when I first met you at the mall, you looked so demure, so tired but so hopeful. You didn’t know me or RM, yet you welcomed both of us into the most intimate parts of your broken life. I could not speak, I thought the strength this little 90 pound girl has to muster everyday, just to survive her environment at Passages.
You, Talia are the vision of “New Life”, your strength will kill the beasts and end the cancer of the venous tactics of the obscene system. Talia, you will succeed, your Dad is a hero, he taught you well….. keep doing what your doing, your smile will live on for ever….
BUT LITTLE AVA!!!
Who is protecting her?
Dear Talia
Your blog is beautifully written. I am so sorry to hear of your sadness and that of Ava who is remains in a helpless situation. I am writing to you today because I too am a victim of the Somerset County Family Court system; a system that sets out to destroy families. Judge Thomas Dilts has destroyed my family and is about to continue to harm my 17 yo son because he has allowed an abusive man (physically, financially and psychologically) to relentlessly pursue me as a pro se litigant. In my situation he has allowed my son to remain in an abusive environment despite the fact that he ordered his return to me last year after 3 long years of denying me relief and after physical emotional and financial harm occurred to my then 13 and 17 year old old children. Judge Dilts allowed my son to drink, attempt suicide, be physically harmed and remain alienated from his mother and not until he was cut up did he finally order his 9th plenary hearing since 1994, to "determine" if there was a change of circumstances, dragging out a court process for 8 months. He uprooted my children from me for NO reason, and violating a consent order of judgmenvt. He gave my children the right to choose despite confirmed history of abuse to me and to others. Thus in my situation when it was harmful for them, he gave them the right to choose but in yours he is denying you your right to choose where you can be in a safe home with your father. My son retreats now and remains alienated from me and those "in camera interviews" are JUdge Dilts's way out as he leaves the deicsion up to my children to exchange love and affection for endless hours alone and isolated and where they should not remain in an abusive home. Here you have a chance to remain with your father in a safe home who is not abusive and he is denying you that right to choose so you see, Judge Dilts does anything he wants to do regardless of logic, rhyme or reason with the sole intent to cause harm and covers up his intent by contrived Orders. He is about to return my son to an abusive home rather than proceed to an academic therapeutic school that can turn my son around. Why? Because he wants to see my family destroyed knowing that my young son of 17 more than likely will remain distanced from his mother and more than likely will return to alcohol and physical abuse. He knows this as he knows the facts in my case. He has refused to recuse from this case more than 7 times He has police reports and every piece of evidence imaginable to not return my son but will dismiss all to cause my family more torment. He chooses to endanger the welfare of my minor son rather than place him in a school that is best for him. When you turn 18 I hope you will never forget what has been done to you and your father and your young sister and to relentlessly publish and expose this County Court injustice as they are doing to others what they have done to your family, mine and countless others. You as a child can speak out Talia and may have a voice but no one has listened to my cries for help. ALso remember that the Appellate Courts are just as corrupt and so is the "Judicial Conduct Committee" a mere gatekeeper for judges. Always remember that your Dad will support you and try to reach out and give hope to your sister. I pray that soon that the Somerset County Court system will fall and none of thier pieces will be put back together again. Hang in there and keep up the exposure. They listen better to children remember that. Jabe
Talia,
You are very brave and I admire you for not giving in to a corrupt legal system. My situation is totally different than yours but it involves Bonnie Frost who I feel is the lowest of low lawyers. She must know someone because she gets away with it and comes up smelling like a rose. She has refused to give me files that I need to collect monies awarded me at trial in a divorce matter. Briefly, the lawyer from her firm tragically died and the firm abandoned me and kept information from me that protected an opposing attorney at my expense. I plan on suing her for malpractice if I am able to find an attorney to do it on contingency. I would gladly help you in any way I can to expose what a heartless, money grubbing attorney she really is and when she gets as much as she can out of you, she throws you to the curb. Cindy could tell you how to reach me.
We cannot believe what is going on with the Bush administration. We are familiar with what is going on in Somerset County relative to your family. We work in law enforcement in Somerset County, and we know that the county has been corrupted against your dad. There are many of us who have been living with this secret. It is too disgusting to live with any further. Some of us are going to step forward. We're sorry that none of us have stepped forward earlier. But everyone is afraid for themselves and their families.
Your Dad is a sick, sick person. It is sad that there other sick people on this earth who have no life but to encourage his mission in destroying YOU!! That's right!! YOU are the one he is destroying. Get some help!!!
This is all total bullshit created by her sick fuck father. Now he pimps out girls, like the sick fuck he is!
what you put out comes back threefold. may your life be filled with anguish like your so called “friends”. i hope you live a long, agonizing life, tossing and turning as the memories of your COMPLACENCY haunt you for many lifetimes to come. you do not deserve employment. you do not deserve happiness. you should be rotting away in jail like your sorry excuse of a father. luckily, the internet never forgets. let’s see how long this paralegal shtick will stick :)
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